Press Release From Mark Belling

Popular daytime radio news entertainment personality Mark Belling has decided to leave his job of objectively informing the masses for a career in partisan politics and greed, in order to save the once-noble teaching profession.

“Belling has applied for a job at Waukesha West High School as an English teacher to replace a retiring teacher active in the union. Belling hopes to acquire a role in the union himself, possibly on the negotiating team, which should excite current teachers, since Belling says, "I'm smarter than all of my enemies," and his enemies include greed, waste, and pansy-ass progressive ideals.
Mr. Belling’s bachelor’s degree in Mass Comm and no experience will allow him to start his teaching career with a lucrative lazy-educator salary. Teaching methods courses and upper-level degrees are not necessary to teach kids the right way to think.

Of his teaching philosophy, Mr. Belling says, "My subject matter is the world, and there are no areas which I won't get into." He also does not plan on using any of the books currently in the English curriculum because they are objectionable. Students will also not read newspapers in Mr. Belling’s class because of their bias, so the classes will mostly read Belling’s writing, and write their own scathing articles with little or no research and only a superior tone as support. When asked about a thematic topic to his classes, Belling said, “Anger will carry us through his first semester. We’ll work on spelling, too.”

Belling also has outlined how he can help the teacher union: “I will make the union stronger by ensuring teachers can get fired for being bad teachers and rewarded for getting kids to score higher on tests. And we’ll be more respected like the private school teachers because we’ll shut our mouths and work more hours. And summer vacation is over! We’re going to work now. Most teachers can’t DO anything, so they teach, but I can do lots of things, and if I choose to teach, it’ll be because I really care about more than the fat paycheck and outrageous benefits. I care about making people think what’s right.”