Bucher Refers Jessica McBride To DA

By Pompous Assitude

Former Waukesha County District Attorney and Wisconsin Attorney General race loser Paul Bucher recently referred wife and WTMJ-AM 620 conservative talk show host Jessica McBride to new Milwaukee DA John Chisholm for investigation and possible charges. In documents sought but not found by the Real Wisconsin News investigative reporting unit Bucher alleges that McBride suffers from severe on-air lapses of originality, creativity, intelligence and insight, as well as, repetitive cases of bumble-itis and “I just think” isms.

Bucher isn’t recommending any particular charges, but thinks there might be something to be done in the name of better programming. Said Bucher, “You know I love Jessica, so this is hard to bring up at home, but I think she’s a little lacking on-air. At home she’s a brilliant orator, and I know she is drilling deeply into stories, but her show just doesn’t seem to have the climax that slot deserves. I’m hoping that an independent investigation will shed some light on the proper remedies.”

John Chisholm isn’t sure what to do with this case. “Under (recently retired Milwaukee DA) McCann’s oversight we might have charged Jessica. Non-violent, non-repeat offenders were Mike’s specialty. But I don’t know. I think I’d like to redirect County resources towards actual crimes, not just offenses to our senses. She is pretty, so maybe I’ll just suggest that she be on television where she wouldn’t have to speak as much.”

Real Wisconsin News legal consultant John Marshall (yes, THE John Marshall) through a medium said that if this case succeeds, it will necessarily become a precedence and a number of local radio news-entertainment personalities would be at risk because of their general lack of both news and entertainment value. However, he pointed out, the other news-entertainment personalities are not very handsome, and therefore might do better in print media or as wait-staff at one of those insult-your-customer restaurants.